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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176665">flowers in the concrete</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeplessthrills/pseuds/sleeplessthrills'>sleeplessthrills</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Day6 (Band), TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>College AU, F/M, Red String of Fate, Soulmate AU, here's a monstrosity no one asked for</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:40:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,761</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeplessthrills/pseuds/sleeplessthrills</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nayeon first heard about the red string when she was five and ever since then, all she ever wanted was to get hers. Fourteen years later, her string appeared and on the other end of it is Brian who is very much taken.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Nayeon/Kang Younghyun | Young K</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've had this pairing stuck in my head for a long time - I'm not entirely sure why. I'm a sucker for these soulmate AUs and this seems like a good fit for them.</p><p>Enjoy the story!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>She first heard about the red string when she was five.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her parents had been constantly fighting ever since she could remember and it was during one of those fights that Nayeon happened to overhear (Jaebum would usually grab her hand and take her outside before she could witness any of it but today, he hadn’t been home). Her dad had said something about how the red string was wrong; that he would like to just cut it off if he could. The next day, she asked and her teacher explained that a red string is something that connects you to your soulmate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was seven when started seeing the red strings everywhere. Apparently, she has a rare ability to see other people’s strings - most people could only see theirs once they are within a certain proximity of their soulmate. So the red strings that connected her parents by their pinky were visible to her when she watched her dad leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While that dampens her brother’s overall outlook of the whole thing, Nayeon - the hopeless romantic that she is - just relishes the idea of soulmates and could not wait to see her own string.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to get your head out of the clouds,” Jaebum would often remind her and she’d frown. She knows why her brother feels jaded by it all, but she wishes that he’d be less of a downer. She knows that someone out there holds the other side of the red string for her and she could not wait to meet this person.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>SEPTEMBER</strong>
</p><p>“I saw it today,” she says, her mouth full of curry rice that Jaebum cooked for them. One perk of her brother working as a freelance video editor means that he’s always home and that he almost always cooks for them. Ever since their mom passed, various responsibilities around the house had shifted naturally between the two of them and he took up cooking more naturally than he’d probably like to admit. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Jinyoung oppa and Suji unnie,” she says, “Their string.”</p><p>Jaebum doesn't look remotely surprised, his eyes still glued to the TV as he chews.</p><p>“Yah!" her eyes widened, "How come you didn’t tell me they’re together?” she shrieks indignantly. Jinyoung is like a second brother to her and she hates being left out of the loop.</p><p>She’d never known Jinyoung to be the type to go after girls, so seeing the red string between him and Suji made her ridiculously happy. Ever since she was introduced to Suji, she had a feeling that Suji and Jinyoung would be great together and she was glad to be correct.</p><p>The rules for the string is unpredictable at best. In some instances, the string develops between two people who have known each other for a long time, like what happens between Jinyoung and Suji. But in other instances, it would appear between two seemingly random people. Either way, she's happy to see red strings everywhere because who doesn't love love?</p><p>The next day, she excitedly tells Jihyo about this new development.</p><p>"Honestly, if Jinyoung oppa or Suji unnie's red string had developed with someone else, I would be crushed. <em> I </em> would be more heartbroken than them," Nayeon adds with a dramatic sigh. She had not seen Jinyoung quite as happy and flustered as he is with Suji and she could not imagine what it would be like if Suji's red string connected to someone else. Jinyoung would be heartbroken. "You are far too invested in their relationship," Jihyo reminds her, stabbing the last ddeokbeokki on her plate with a little too much fervor.</p><p>Between the two of them, Jihyo has always been the more practical one, which works well because Nayeon, as painfully obvious to anyone who has spent at least 5 seconds with her, is the dreamy one.</p><p>"Did you see what Suji unnie is wearing today?" Nayeon asks, opening up her Instagram account. She quickly finds Jinyoung's profile and taps on his latest Instagram Story, which is another development she enjoys about their relationship: he's more active on Instagram. She had told him when he needed to be more public about his relationship with Suji because Suji is a hot commodity. "How would you feel if people look through her Instagram sees that she's alone in all of them? People will assume that she's single!" she preached, feeling particularly proud of how Jinyoung was listening very intently to her. Jaebum, on the other hand, just cackled from the kitchen, clearly amused by the conversation.</p><p>"Look!" she shoves her phone in front of Jihyo's face, ignoring Jihyo's look of disapproval at almost being hit in the face. "That flowery dress is so pretty," she says, looking at the dress a little closer. In the Instagram Story, Suji is rummaging through her bag while Jinyoung is teasing her about something that he clearly finds amusing. She sighs dreamily. "You're so lucky you have your red string," she says to an unamused Jihyo.</p><p>"Speak of the devil."</p><p>Nayeon turns to see Youngjae walking towards them. She smiles as he settles on the empty seat between her and Jihyo. "You are late," Jihyo reminds him and he grins, pulling out keys and a wallet that Jihyo grabs and puts in her bag without a second thought. "Don't be mad. The class ran a bit long," he explains and she could see whatever tension that may have been in Jihyo earlier wash away. As annoyed as Jihyo likes to be at little things that her boyfriend does, Nayeon is envious of how his mere presence could have that calming effect.</p><p>Nayeon, Jihyo, and Youngjae went to the same high school and had been really great friends since then. Jihyo and Youngjae started dating towards their last year of high school and within a few months, their red string appeared. It made Nayeon ridiculously happy to see her two best friends together because she could not think of anyone more perfect for one another. While that made Nayeon a frequent third wheel (and she has made a conscious effort to give the couple their own time without her), she doesn't really mind. The three of them have survived high school and are surviving their first year of the university together, and she could not ask for a better support system - even if one half of that support system is currently eating her kimbap.</p><p>"Yah that's my lunch," she whines, slapping Youngjae's hand away from her food. He winces before grinning and trying again - Nayeon lets him because she's no longer hungry. "Why don't you mooch off of your girlfriend instead?" she asks.</p><p>Youngjae answers by pointing at the empty container of ddeokbeokki in front of Jihyo who is smiling rather smugly. "I knew he'd be hungry, so I finished it before he came," she answers.</p><p>Youngjae gives her a wounded look before turning to Nayeon, "Are you sure you want a soulmate? Mine is really mean."</p><p>To that, she smiles, "Yes. I still do. Because I will happily feed my soulmate."</p><p>"Just wait until you actually meet your soulmate and you don't get to finish your own food," Jihyo warns.</p><p>"I can hardly wait," Nayeon sighs.</p><p>***</p><p>Nayeon is sitting at the library, a video lecture playing on her iPad while she's twirling her pen, mind completely adrift. She knows she has to finish this essay but she can't concentrate on this lecture to save her life.</p><p>It's been two weeks since she first discovers Jinyoung and Suji's string and last night, she finally got to see it up close. They had come over to her house and the four of them had dinner together - her brother made a giant pot of <em> doenjang jjigae </em> that they will undoubtedly be eating for the rest of the week. It's always nice to see Jinyoung and Suji but with their newly cemented status as soul mates, it was extra exciting. Nayeon couldn't stop staring at the red string that's connected by their pinky. When Suji stood up to get more beer from the fridge, she could see it extend between their dining table to the kitchen and she saw it retracts as she sat down next to Jinyoung who mindlessly opened the can before handing it back to Suji. She's seen these habitual behaviors on Jihyo and Youngjae too and witnessing it always filled her with a pang of envy.</p><p>There's no specific rule regarding <em> when </em> your red string is supposed to appear. There are cases when the red string appears once they're in their 50s and 60s, which causes its own set of problems for those involved. On the other end of the spectrum, the youngest that the string has appeared was on a seven-year-old in the UK - her string was connected to the daughter of a family friend. A handful of Nayeon’s friends already have their strings but most of them hadn't either. So it's not like she's an anomaly or anything, but she just wishes that she has hers by now. Jaebum thinks it's ridiculous because she's still 19, but her brother has always been a killjoy when it comes to her romantic aspirations anyway so she usually ignores him.</p><p>The thought of Jaebum jolts her out of her daydreaming and back to reality. She needs to tell him that she'll be coming home early - does he want her to buy anything from the grocery store?</p><p>So she picks up her phone and is about to type a text when she notices a red string extending from the back of her phone. She sets her phone down and sees the red string on her left pinky and she immediately looks up to find the other end. It disappears to the bookshelf and she is just about to stand up to go after it when the string disappears.</p><p>
  <em> Shit. </em>
</p><p>This means that the person has gotten beyond five meters away from her.</p><p>But she quickly packs her things and jogs out of the library. She is still climbing down the steps towards the subway station when she dials Jihyo's number and explains in rapid-fire what just happened. "The person must've left the library," Jihyo offers. By the time she arrives home, she walks straight into Jaebum's office. "I got it," she immediately says.</p><p>Jaebum turns around from his double monitor, "What?"</p><p>"I got it. Today. At the library," she holds up her pinky.</p><p>It takes a second before understanding dawns on Jaebum's face and his shoulders relax before tensing up again, "Who is it?"</p><p>"I don't know. It disappeared before I could figure it out."</p><p>He nods.</p><p>"But I got it! Finally!" she continues, her voice getting higher, an indication of her excitement. "Do you think the library will let me look at their CCTV footage to see who it belongs to? No. That's crazy. I won't even be able to see the string from the video. But maybe I can narrow down who it might be based on who's leaving the library at the time—"</p><p>"Whoa... calm down," he cuts in.</p><p>She takes a deep breath, trying to rein in the rush of adrenaline coursing through. "Okay. Yes. Calm down, Im Nayeon," she takes more breaths in quick successions, "But seriously how should I find this person? Maybe I should just be at the library around the same time so I can run into that person again—"</p><p>Jaebum stands up and grasps her shoulders, "Calm down. You'll run into this person again. Just wait for it."</p><p>She nods quickly, clearly not really agreeing with anything he's suggesting, but he continues anyway.</p><p>"You're 19. There's no rush, Nayeon-ah," he reminds her.</p><p>She nods again but her mind is already elsewhere. So he just sighs and pushes her towards the living room while he goes off to heat up their dinner, knowing that nothing he's saying is going to get through to his baby sister.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>OCTOBER</strong>
</p><p>"Are you... willing the string to appear?"</p><p>Nayeon looks up at Jihyo for a second and then back at her pinky - both, since she doesn't know which one it will appear out of at any given time.</p><p>"Leave her alone," she hears him say and she sends a smile his way, "I hope my soul mate is as kind as you, Choi Youngjae."</p><p>He reciprocates before holding out his palm towards Jihyo. "I need my wallet," he asks. "Why won't you just carry a bag?" she grumbles as she rummages through her tote.</p><p>Nayeon ignores their usual bickering and focuses on her surroundings.</p><p>For the past two weeks, she has been looking fervently for her red string to appear again. She's been at the library every day, at the same time, and she has walked through every corner of the campus to no avail.</p><p>"Do you think this person doesn't go to our school?" she wonders aloud to Jihyo and Jihyo agrees before asking, "But how many visitors would just go to the library?" The three of them have arrived at the Student Union Building and are walking leisurely through the building.</p><p>"I take prospective students and their families on tour around campus and we always go to the library," Nayeon answers. She works at the front desk the information center, which is located in this building. "This means your red string could be connected to anyone in this country - or even the world," Youngjae pipes up, making the sinking feeling in Nayeon's stomach appear again.</p><p>***</p><p>A few days later, she's in line at the coffee shop when she sees it again</p><p>She looks to the string to find the other end connected to a guy standing at the Pick-Up counter. But before she could say or do anything, he walks off and out the door. She eyes the barista ahead and taps her foot nervously, waiting for her turn to order. When she's finally at the counter, she immediately asks, "Who was the guy with the white button-down, striped shirt, and black jeans?"</p><p>Youngjae just gives her a look that says 'what the fuck.'</p><p>She shakes her head and continues, "He was a few orders ahead of me. You gave him his drinks. He has black hair. Tall."</p><p>Youngjae scrunches forehead in thought before offering a name, "Brian hyung?"</p><p>"His name is Brian?"</p><p>"He was here before you. He's a DJ at the station with me."</p><p>Nayeon was just about to ask him more questions when they hear a loud, exaggerated cough, which causes Youngjae to panic. "Your usual order right?" he taps on the screen quickly.</p><p>Nayeon taps the back of her phone to the machine to make payment.</p><p>"Later," Youngjae mouths soundlessly as he gestures for her to move away so he can serve the next customer. She nods and waits at the counter in a daze.</p><p>
  <em> Brian. His name is Brian. </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Nayeon is seated at the corner table of the coffee shop with Jihyo who is nose-deep in her chemistry textbook when Youngjae emerges, free of the apron he had on earlier. She tries not to jump at the sight of him and plants herself on the wooden seat.</p><p>"Okay, so..." Youngjae begins the moment he sits down, "Brian hyung is a marketing student at the business school. He's two years ahead of us. He's a DJ at the station with me and..."</p><p>He pauses, worries etched on his face.</p><p>"...he has a girlfriend."</p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>Jihyo looks up from her textbook, shocked, before turning to Youngjae who bites his lips, concerned. They both turn to look at Nayeon.</p><p>All her life, she has dreamed of this moment - the moment her red strings appear and connect her to her soul mate, her universe-given soulmate. The perfect person for her. She's seen the happiness on people's faces when they're with their soulmates and she has wanted nothing more than to be a part of that club. Sure she's seen how relationships fall apart despite the string, but she believes wholeheartedly that hers she will not. She knows there's a happy ending destined for her and her soulmate. That's why she's been looking forward to her string all her life. She wasn't expecting fireworks or anything, but she certainly hadn't expected <em> this. </em></p><p>"He's dating someone else?" she asks again, some part of her hoping she had misheard but Youngjae's weak nod shatters that.</p><p>So she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.</p><p>"What do I do now?" she asks when she opens her eyes again. She could feel something building up in her chest, a foreign feeling she doesn't recognize. But she tamps it down. "Do I... tell him?" she asks, unsure.</p><p>Jihyo has that look of full concentration and concern when she answers, "You should talk to him."</p><p>"And let myself be rejected?"</p><p>Jihyo shakes her head, "No. But it shouldn't just fall on you to figure this out."</p><p>She knows logically that this happens. Most people don't stay single and celibate until their string appears (she's one of the rare ones who has chosen to remain single, seeing no point in wasting time with anyone who isn't her soulmate). The unpredictability of <em> when </em> the string appears means people go on with their lives, dating whomever it is they want. So situations, where one person is connected to another person who is already with someone else, are not entirely new nor unique. Depending on how much feelings are involved, it inevitably leads to all kinds of a mess - but it's not unusual. It's just that Nayeon never thought that <em> she </em> would be in this kind of situation.</p><p>"What was it like when your string appeared?" she asks them even though she knows the answer - she was there when it happened.</p><p>They exchange a look - it's that distinctly couple look where they are having an entire conversation without words - before Jihyo reaches out and places her hand on top of Nayeon's, steadying the fidgeting she hadn't realize she has been doing. "It was different for us," she answers and Nayeon continues in her own head.</p><p>
  <em> ...because we were already dating. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ...because we were already in love. </em>
</p><p>The growing pain in her chest just grows at the reminder of the situation she is in and how much she wishes she had what Jihyo and Youngjae had. Why didn't she date anyone when she was in school? There had been guys who had shown interest, but she had always dismissed them, only wanting to be with her soulmate and no one else. Jaebum had always called her naive for that and more than any other time in her life, she is now resenting herself for it.</p><p>"How do I tell him this?" she asks again, the horror in her face palpable. "He's gonna think I'm stupid for waiting for him like this," she buries her head in her hand, willing the tears to stop forming in the back of her eyes. Youngjae reaches over and pulls her into a hug. Between the two of them, Youngjae is always the more affectionate one. She feels Jihyo's hand up and down her arm and she lets herself cry into her best friends' comforting embrace.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em> "You should just talk to him about it. He's on the other end of the string too." </em>
</p><p>Jihyo's parting words echo as she trudges her way home. She had spent the day alternating between crying and calming herself down. Jihyo and Youngjae had been true friends in the midst of all this, staying with her up and not letting her crumble on her own. But as she walks up the hilly path towards her house, she mulls over what would happen if and when she speaks to Brian about this.</p><p>She's heard of instances where one soul mate rejects the other. It's very painful, of course. Unrequited love is a painful ordeal on its own, but when you add the element of the red string, the rejection is not just about their lack of feelings but also a rejection of the universe's mandate. That you truly do not want to be with this person, despite the universe telling you that this is the person you're meant to be with. She's read countless books and has watched movies about these failed red strings, and it made her cry every time.</p><p>Will she cry when she talks to Brian about this too? When he rejects her?</p><p>Nayeon still mulls over this when she arrives home. She walks straight into her room and cries herself to sleep.</p><p>***</p><p>What do you wear when you're set to meet your universe-given soul mate who is dating someone else?</p><p>Nayeon pondered this very question when she got ready this morning. She considered wearing all black, to match how she's feeling, but she opted for an all-white get up instead.</p><p>She walks to the Student Union Building and meets Jihyo before heading to the university's radio station. Youngjae is having a meeting there and Brian is in attendance. Jihyo's hand is firm in hers, lending whatever support she can transfer, and Nayeon appreciates this.</p><p>She's always read about these feelings - one where it feels like your heart is being squeezed out of her chest and where breathing becomes too difficult. While she's always found it painful to read or watch, she knew there would be pay off in the end where the other person inevitably realizes their mistake and they run into each other's arms in the rain, reunited at last. She didn't expect the reality to be <em> this </em> painful where the promise of the dramatic reunion is nonexistent. She's left with the pain and nothing else.</p><p>"Youngjae said the meeting is over," Jihyo says and she squeezes Nayeon's hand. She nods and they walk to the other wing of the building with quiet steps.</p><p>She sees people file out the door of the radio station and they stop at the corner. Her free hand is fidgeting with the slightly ruffled edge of the crop top she's wearing. She lets her hand trace the edges of her pants, looking for something to occupy herself while they wait. She sees the red string appear on her pinky and she grimaces to her shirt.</p><p>When she hears the door open again, she looks up and sees Youngjae's nervous face. Behind him is the other end of her string and when she sees him... <em> properly </em> sees him... and he doesn't look surprised. She gulps and attempts a smile, which he reciprocates weakly.</p><p>"Hyung... this is Nayeon," Youngjae says once they're standing closer, "She's a really close friend of mine," he adds with a touch of edge. She gives him a small smile, appreciating his protectiveness, before turning to look at Brian more closely.</p><p>The first thing she notices is his eyes and the intensity of his gaze, which she could not quite read. She wonders if it disappears when he laughs or smiles wide. His dark, straight eyebrows add to the intensity and she looks down, the nerves beginning to overflow under his gaze. But her eyes land on the red string that's stretched between them and she takes a deep breath.</p><p><em> Come on, Im Nayeon. You can do this, </em> she tells herself. She's cheerful, happy, bright Im Nayeon. She's bunny-toothed Im Nayeon who smiles and laughs freely. She can <em> do this. </em></p><p>So she raises her right pinky and tries for levity, "I guess we're soul mates."</p><p>A few moments passed in silence before he laughs.</p><p><em> His eyes do disappear, </em> she notes with a small smile.</p><p>"I guess we are..."</p><p>***</p><p>They sit at one of the empty sofas in the Student Union Building. Youngjae and Jihyo said they have stuff to do but she knows that they're at the coffee shop next door, waiting for her beck and call.</p><p>"My name is Brian," he says, breaking their silence.</p><p>She nods, "I know. Youngjae told me."</p><p>He nods at this for a moment before he freezes, "Did he also tell you..."</p><p>She nods and the grimace they exchange seems to lift the tension on his shoulders.</p><p>She notes his patterned black and white button-down and his black jeans. <em> His backpack seems heavy, </em> she notes the backpack slung over one shoulder. His finger is tapping his knee at a rhythm that catches her attention.</p><p><em> He's nervous too, </em> she notes, and that gives her a sense of comfort.</p><p>"So..." she starts.</p><p>"She's nice," he says quickly, "My girlfriend, I mean. She's nice. You should meet her sometime."</p><p>"S... sure."</p><p>"It's nothing against you, Nayeon-ssi—"</p><p>"You can call me Nayeon, drop the honorifics."</p><p>He nods quickly before continuing, "We've been together for two years and I love her. We love each other."</p><p>She nods again, trying to push away the pain spreading in her chest. She wants this to be over, stat. So before he continues, she says, "I'm not asking or expecting you to break up with her."</p><p>The tapping on his knee stops.</p><p>"So..." she gulps, "Don't worry."</p><p>It takes a few moments before he nods again. He looks stricken and maybe upset? She can't quite tell, but she chooses to ignore it. All she wants to do is run home and maybe cry herself to sleep.</p><p>She gestures towards the hallway as she stands up and he does the same. She's just about to walk away when he calls out.</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>She shakes her head, "It's okay." She draws all the energy left in her to muster a smile, "It's just a string, right?" she tugs at her pinky.</p><p>He looks down at his moving pinky and before he could look up, she runs.</p><p>Instead of running to the coffee shop, she hops on a cab and heads straight home. From the look on Jaebum's face when he greets her at the door, she knows that he knows, either from Jihyo or Youngjae. She tries her hardest not to cry when he pulls her in his embrace, thinking that surely she's cried enough for the past few days. But she does anyway.</p><p>She sobs and sobs and sobs while her brother whispers a pained "I'm sorry" to her hair.</p><p>She realizes, for the first time, that this is what it feels like to have her heart broken.</p><p>***</p><p>After a few days of moping and Jaebum visibly biting his tongue from saying "I told you so" (which was stopped by Jinyoung, Suji, Jihyo, and Youngjae's sharp glare), Nayeon is out of the house and back on campus.</p><p>"Yah... if companies give you leaves for heartbreak, the entire economy would collapse," Jaebum had said last night when she said she's not sure whether she's going to work or not. She pouted and huffed before pulling the back of her brother's hair in retaliation before stalking back to her room, which Jaebum took as a sign that his sister was feeling better.</p><p>Now, seated on the high chair behind the counter of the front desk, she sighs at the emails that her co-worker had kindly left behind for her to go through. She's in the middle of typing an email about the university's online application portal when she hears Youngjae's familiar laughter echo through the hall. She looks up and spots him walking towards her.</p><p>"Did you eat?" he asks in greeting and she smiles, "My brother packed omurice and kimbap for later."</p><p>"Wah... hyung is being extra nice," he remarks and she grins.</p><p>They chat about their upcoming dinner plan when she notices her red string appear. She flinches and puts her hand down, hoping it would somehow get rid of the string too. She sees Brian stop for a moment before walking towards them. She steels herself and musters a smile.</p><p>He smiles in response and greets Youngjae with a clap on the back. Youngjae straightens up. "Hyung. What are you doing here?" he asks.</p><p>"I had a meeting with the producer," Brian gestures towards the radio station.</p><p>The three of them are silent for a few moments before he clears his throat. "Thank you," he says to Nayeon, "You are... a really good person."</p><p>She notes the nerves in his voice and his index finger tapping on the counter.</p><p>"I know," she says, "Obviously," she jokes and he responds with a smile, tension visibly leaving his shoulders. "That's why I'm friends with Choi Youngjae. No one else wanted to be his friends, you see," she continues. "Yah..." Youngjae protests and shakes his head in exaggerated disbelief.</p><p>She places her hand on Youngjae's shoulders, "It's okay, Youngjae-ya. I'm never gonna abandon you. I'm a <em> good </em> person." Youngjae shakes her hand away from his shoulder with a huff, "Get lost." Brian laughs and leans his elbow on the counter, "Hyung is here for you too." They continue to chat, though it's mostly Youngjae and Brian discussing the radio station while Nayeon nods along.</p><p><em> He laughs with his cheeks, </em> she notes as he laughs at something Youngjae says, his eyes transformed into crescent moons. <em> His lips too... </em> she starts before shaking her head to stop the thought from going further.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Youngjae asks and she smiles, "Nothing. I'm just hungry," she diverts.</p><p>"When are you off work? Do you want to eat together?" Brian offers.</p><p>She shakes her head sadly. "Still another three hours," she sighs, noticing that she actually is hungry.</p><p>"Eat the food from Jaebum hyung," Youngjae gestures towards the brown paper bag on her desk.</p><p>"Yah... be quiet," she whispers, looking to see if her manager is nearby, "I'm not allowed to eat on the job."</p><p>"I see you eat here all the time," Youngjae replies.</p><p>"I do it secretly," she whispers.</p><p>Youngjae just shakes his head. "A good person wouldn't break the rules," he says in a teasing sing-song voice.</p><p>She rolls her eyes, "Shut up."</p><p>Brian laughs at the exchange and the smile that appears on her lips is automatic.</p><p>She had wondered why he's the one on the other end of her red string. What is the universe seeing in them that it decides to put them together? Clearly, it doesn't matter since Brian is with someone else but still. Perhaps the more she gets to know him, the better she'll understand why he's deemed to be the perfect match for her. Her soul mate.</p><p>From the very very very little interaction she's had with him, he seems nice and it's clear that he cares about the people in his life. She can't erase the memory of him, nervously tapping his knee as he tried his best to spare her feelings. Or of him ten minutes ago, thanking her. From what she could see, he seems sincere and kind.</p><p>
  <em> Is that what the universe thinks I need - someone sincere and kind? </em>
</p><p>She continues to ponder this as Youngjae and Brian continue to converse in front of her.</p><p>She observes how reactive he is to everything Youngjae is saying - how easily he smiles and laughs. Even when he's surprised, the smile never quite leaves his eyes.</p><p>Perhaps... if they can't or aren't together as soulmates, they could be soul mates in a purely platonic way. The way Jihyo and Youngjae could sometimes feel like different versions of her other half.</p><p>
  <em> Friends. </em>
</p><p>"Umm... Brian?" she asks a little later after Youngjae left to go to class. "Do you think..." she starts, her fingers clenching and unclenching. She notices the red string between them moves to the movement of her fingers and she sees Brian smile when he comes to the same realization. "Do you think we could be friends?" she asks.</p><p>"I don't want to make things..." she searches, "...difficult for you and your girlfriend. But I think... this," she holds up the red string on her pinky, "...indicates anything, it's that we could probably be friends..." she struggles, "Right?"</p><p>She bites her lower lip, afraid that she has just ruined whatever cordial relationship they currently have.</p><p>
  <em> Oh God, what did I just do? What if he says no? Then will I have to quit this job so I never have to see him again? Or I'll ask to be moved to the night shift? But the desk closes by five PM. The only solution is to quit. Yeah, I'll just— </em>
</p><p>"Yeah. I think so," his voice brings her out of her spiral. She looks up at the tentative smile on his lips, which she reciprocates. "I'd like for us to be friends," he adds.</p><p>She mentally exhales, "Great."</p><p>"Maybe we can grab a bite to eat with Youngjae and Jihyo?"</p><p>She nods, "I'd like that."</p><p>"Okay. I'll talk to Youngjae about it," he says.</p><p>"Cool."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>They say nothing for a few awkward moments.</p><p>"So... uh... I'll get going then," he gestures towards the door and she nods far too enthusiastically.</p><p>She sits down and stares at her brown paper bag lunch.</p><p>She can do this. She can be friends with her soulmate.</p><p>***</p><p>A few weeks later, she finds herself seated across from Brian in a <em> samgyeopsal </em> restaurant. Next to her, Youngjae and Jihyo are arguing about how many servings of <em> samgyeopsal </em> they should order (Youngjae says three while Jihyo says two will be enough). Brian, on the other hand, is typing away on his phone.</p><p>“What do you think?” Jihyo turns to her.</p><p>“We can always order more,” she answers and Youngjae shoots her a wounded look, which she responds with a shrug.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” Brian puts his phone in his pocket and looks at the rest of the table, “What are we talking about?”</p><p>“How much food we should order,” Nayeon answers while Jihyo places their order. He nods while reaching for the jug of tea, making a move to pour it on the metal cups on the table. She quickly reaches for it and says, "No. You're the oldest here. I'll do it."</p><p>He moves the jug further away from her reach, "You're making me feel old."</p><p>She makes a move to reach it but he pulls it farther away.</p><p>"C'mon. We're all friends here, right?" he gives her a look as he says the word 'friend' and she feels herself blush.</p><p>She holds her metal cup as he pours tea onto it and thanks him. When she turns to Jihyo, she sees her placing pieces of the <em> banchan </em> on Youngjae's plate as they talk about something that Nayeon can't quite catch. Youngjae, on the other hand, is folding the scarf that Jihyo was wearing earlier before putting them in the space underneath their chairs with his jacket. Their movements look natural and automatic like they do it without a thought.</p><p>She notices it again when they're in the throes of their dinner, everyone absorbed in listening to Brian's story about his road trip in Canada. She's listening intently to how Brian and his friends had to push their rented car for a few kilometers because the tire blew out when she notices Youngjae's thumb casually rubbing the palm of Jihyo's hand, the red string intertwining between their fingers. It doesn't seem like either of them is even aware of what they're doing but the tenderness of it catches Nayeon off-guard.</p><p>She's a frequent witness to her two best friends' affectionate gestures, but this time, it fills her with a pang of envy. Perhaps the presence of Brian and the red string makes her realize what it <em> should </em> be. What it <em> could </em> be. Or what it <em> could've </em> been.</p><p>Brian should be mindlessly rubbing the palm of her hand with his thumb and she should be refilling his cup without a word as they laugh about something that Youngjae says. Their red string should be intertwined as they hold each other's hands, but instead, it's stretched across the table.</p><p>It puts her in a mood for the rest of the evening as they move to an ice cream shop down the street for dessert. She still talks, jokes, and laughs with the rest of them, but by the time she's walking the uphill steps to her house, she finds herself grateful for the solitude.</p><p>She doesn't resent her friends for being happy, but tonight, it was a painful reminder of what she won't have - what she'll never have.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>"Who's performing again?" she asks for the third time that night.</p><p>Now that it's near the end of the semester, assignments and projects are piling up and Nayeon has happily buried herself in them. She knows they're a distraction but she welcomes them with wide-open arms.</p><p>She's seen Brian at the Student Union Building and each time, they've exchanged polite hellos, engaging in short, meaningless conversations. Last week, he caught her almost falling asleep after pulling an all-nighter to finish a paper that was due that morning. When he tapped her shoulder, she jolted awake and almost screamed. He looked amused while she was mortified. Thankfully, no one else was around to witness. She's learning to be friends with him and it is easy when she only has to talk to him for five to ten minutes at a time, once a week.</p><p>"My friend's band. They're really good, I swear," Youngjae answers as he holds the door open.</p><p>She follows Jihyo in and finds herself in a dimly lit room, packed with people who are standing almost shoulder-to-shoulder. She squints to make out the faces on the stage, trying to see if she recognizes them, and immediately, she sees a familiar face behind the drums.</p><p>"Is that Dowoon?" she half-screams her question to Youngjae's ears. The band is already playing.</p><p>When Youngjae shoots her a look of confusion, she points to the drum and says, "Yoon Dowoon. Is that him?"</p><p>Youngjae nods, "How do you know him?"</p><p>"He's in Teacher's College," she answers, "We're in a couple of classes together."</p><p>She turns her attention fully to the stage and marvels at how different her classmate seems. Based on what she's seen in class, she'd never guess that Busan boy Dowoon would be in a band. A drummer, no less.</p><p>A few songs later, she turns to Youngjae again and asks, "Is Brian here?"</p><p>Youngjae points to the other side of the room where she spots his jet black hair, bobbing up and down, side to side to the music. She thinks he could make out the movement of his lips, following the song that's being performed on stage. A few moments later, she steals a look at him and finds him absolutely lost to the music, his arms waving and flailing about - his eyes closed.</p><p>She smiles, filing that away in her mind.</p><p><em> Kang Brian is absolutely loving this, </em> she notes.</p><p>She dances along with the rest of the crowd to the band and sings along to the Bruno Mars song that they're covering. Pulling Jihyo closer to the crowd, she lets herself get lost in the music.</p><p>Once the performance is over, she follows Youngjae as they make a beeline for the stage. The crowd has started to disperse but the energy in the room is still electric. She pulls her head into a messy low bun, cringing at the feel of the sweat on her hair. Concert-going should be considered a form of cardio.</p><p>"Yoon Dowoon!" she calls out when she sees her classmate emerge. She waves excitedly and he has the goofiest grin in response. "Nuna... what are you doing here?" he asks, clearly surprised.</p><p>Dowoon is a wunderkind of some kind in their department - he skipped one year of elementary school and is the youngest in their batch. Given that they're in Teacher's College, about 80% of the students in their department are women, and Dowoon being the goofy kid that he is immediately became everyone's favorite little brother.</p><p>"I came to watch you, obviously," she answers, "I didn't know you were such a <em> rockstar." </em></p><p>He blushes at the word.</p><p>She was just about to tease him some more when she notices Brian and a few other people appear next to them.</p><p>"Hello," he greets her and she notices that he's just as sweaty as her. "Hello," she waves, her red string flailing in the air. If he notices it too, he doesn't say anything, instead... he turns and pulls a few more people in their circle.</p><p>"Nayeon, this is Jae and Hyerim," he gestures to a lanky blonde guy with thick, black-rimmed glasses and a petite, dark-haired girl with red lips that reminds her of a Hong Kong movie star. When the guy waves his hand in greeting, she sees the red string connecting him to the girl next to his. They exchange polite hellos and more introductions are done to include Jihyo who had just returned from the bathroom.</p><p>She's talking to Hyerim who she learns is a speech therapist (and a polyglot!) when she notices another girl sidles up next to Brian. His hand immediately comes up to her waist, pulling her closer to his side while she snakes her arm around his torso. Brian and the girl are now talking to Jae and they laugh, her head leaning casually on his shoulder. The moment feels so intimate that she looks away and her eyes land on the red string stretched between her and Brian, which makes her feel even worse.</p><p>"Are you okay?" she hears Hyerim ask and she immediately shakes her head, embarrassed to be caught.</p><p>"Yes. I think I'm feeling thirsty after all that jumping," she grins, "But you were saying that your company works together with Kindergartens to provide training for teachers and..."</p><p>Even though she continues to talk to Hyerim, she can't help but notice the gestures between Brian and his girlfriend from the corner of her eye. The affection between them is subtle but clear to everyone else. If it weren't for the red string on her and Brian's pinky, she would have assumed that Brian and his girlfriend are soulmates.</p><p>She makes up an excuse to leave early and judging by the look that Jihyo shot her way, she knows that she will have to do some explaining later. But Nayeon leaves anyway, her mind occupied with what she just saw and wanting space to process through it all. She's sure after tonight that the string - <em> her </em> string - is wrong. How can Brian be her soulmate when he clearly already found his?</p><p>When she arrives home, she finds her brother on the couch and she sits next to him.</p><p>"I saw him and his girlfriend tonight," she says, unprompted, and she feels Jaebum tense. It is then that she feels a wave of emotion coursing through - all the sadness, disappointment, hurt, and it is threatening to overflow. But she takes a deep breath, willing it to stay inside. She's tired of crying.</p><p>"You're doing the right thing, Nayeon-ah," he says after a moment.</p><p>She nods as she bites her lips, feeling her eyes well with tears she desperately wants to keep at bay. But when Jaebum pulls her into his arm, she lets it fall, closing her eyes and quietly allow herself to be submerged by the emotion she's become all too familiar with in the past few months, hoping that this time, it will be the last.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A short filler chapter!</p><p>Enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>MARCH</strong>
</p><p>Nayeon learns that time is truly the best and only remedy. At first, it didn't help that he would always come over and say hi when they’re at the Student Union Building (which is unfortunately often, given that they both work there), engaging her in small talk whenever he did. It was painfully awkward at first but she could see him trying his best so she felt like owed it to him - <em> to them </em>- to do the same.</p><p>After a while, it became easier and easier. There’s a goofiness to him that made it easier for her to warm up to him. He’s so naturally great at everything (she’s learned that in addition to being a great student, he also plays bass) while somehow being the opposite of suave - she’s never seen someone fumble around for things quite as often as he does. It’s hard to be awkward around someone who makes you laugh by constantly leaving his things behind or running back and forth because he got carried away listening to music or working on his assignment (or both). It’s hard to maintain any tension between them if he makes her laugh when he’s just being himself. She's getting good at ignoring their red string too - her heart no longer hitches at the sight of it stretching between them. It's now just become a thing that exists, no longer weighing down on her finger as it did back then.</p><p>Like right now, she sees him walk into the building with a knowing smirk and she reciprocates with an overly bright smile. </p><p>"Yes, how can I help you?" her voice is exaggerated in its friendliness.</p><p>"Yes. Can you tell me what time it is now?" he answers formally - this has become a thing that developed between them, and she's genuinely enjoying it.</p><p>She lifts the watch on her wrist with a flourish, "It is ten minutes past two PM."</p><p>He nods, "Isn't it way past lunchtime?"</p><p>"Yes, it is," the smile on her face is slightly smug and he immediately knows that it means, so he drops the formality and rests both of his elbows on the counter.</p><p>"Did you succeed?" he asks.</p><p>He caught her trying to sneakily eat lunch on her desk a few months ago and he seems to have made it his mission to help and not help her at the same time. Whenever a guest or a student walks up to the counter, he'd make comments about the smell of whatever she's eating, making her shoot daggers with her eyes while he watched, clearly finding all of it amusing. But when her manager is around, he'd cough and signal for her to hide her food. Once, he distracted her manager by asking a question about the number of bathrooms and bidets on the campus while she inhaled the rest of her hamburger.</p><p>She nods, "Kimbap."</p><p>He scoffs, "That's for amateurs. Child's play."</p><p>"Fine. What should I eat tomorrow?"</p><p>"Udon?" he suggests and she narrows her eyes for a moment before answering, "Fine."</p><p>"Really?" he looks surprised, clearly not expecting her to agree.</p><p>Only certain types of food can be eaten sneakily on her desk - mostly dry, packed food like kimbap and sandwiches. As much as she'd love to eat <em> ramyeon </em> for lunch, the soup is too messy and the smell is impossible to hide. She had explained this to him a month ago and that's why he didn't expect her to say yes so easily to his challenge.</p><p>"I'm not working tomorrow, so yeah," she grins cheekily.</p><p>"Yah..." he protests weakly while she cackles.</p><p>"Don't you have somewhere to be?" she asks and he nods.</p><p>"New DJ is coming today."</p><p>"Are you one of those <em> sunbaes </em> who bullies his <em> hoobaes </em>?" she narrows her eyes.</p><p>He balks, "Yah. I'm a good <em> sunbae. </em> The nicest. Ask Youngjae."</p><p>He says Youngjae's name loudly, making the person in question jog closer to them, "What?"</p><p>Nayeon ignores him and says to Brian, "I only believe 50% of the things that he says."</p><p>"I'm hurt."</p><p>Nayeon shrugs while Brian laughs.</p><p>"Don't you guys have some newbie to torture?" she asks after the two guys continue to linger on her desk. She notices the number of new emails that arrived as she's talking to Brian and she knows she needs to get back to work.</p><p>"Yeah we're heading there now," Youngjae says, turning towards the hallway.</p><p>"We're off," the two guys waved her goodbye.</p><p>Nayeon was just about to sit down when Youngjae turns back, "Can we do board game night at your place tomorrow? My aunt is visiting."</p><p>She shakes her head firmly, "Jaebum oppa will literally kill me if we do board game night at our place. Remember The Great Explosion of 2019?"</p><p>Youngjae's face darkens. "I'll sweet talk my mom," he concludes solemnly.</p><p>"My place is empty," Brian offers, and Youngjae perks up, "Really?"</p><p>He shrugs, "I like board games."</p><p>There is a look of absolute relief and joy on Youngjae's face, "Thank you hyung!"</p><p>Nayeon just chuckles as the two guys continue to disappear down the hallway.</p><p>***</p><p>The next night, Nayeon arrives at Brian's apartment with Jihyo. When Brian opens the door, he doesn't hide the surprise on his face. "We need to prep the room," Jihyo explains before Brian has a chance to ask. He lets them in and Nayeon stands next to him while Jihyo sets her stuff on the kitchen counter. "Do you mind if we move the furniture around a little bit? We'll put everything back together," she asks. "Of course," he answers, still unsure of what's truly being asked but knows that he needs to say yes anyway.</p><p>They begin to move the coffee table, making room for people to sit around it. Nayeon clears his coffee table, moving the books and trinkets to the dining table, while Jihyo nudges the sofa to the side. Nayeon was in the middle of arranging the floor cushions around the table when Youngjae arrives with pizza, drinks, and snacks. Within a few minutes, all four of them are seated around the table, drinks in one hand and pizza on the other.</p><p>"Do you guys do this often?" Brian asks.</p><p>"Every month," Nayeon explains, her mouth full of pepperoni pizza. She swallows before continuing, "Jihyo likes to collect board games. So the three of us and a few other friends from high school used to do this every month. Now that we're in uni, it's usually just the three of us."</p><p>"What are we playing?" Youngjae asks and Jihyo sets her food down before pulling out an orange box from her bag.</p><p>"<em> Secret Hitler </em>?" Brian reads while Youngjae groans, "I hate this. I always get caught."</p><p>"You need to be a better fascist," Nayeon says to a grumbling Youngjae.</p><p>Two hours later, Jihyo is jumping up and down in glee while Youngjae buries his head in the couch cushions. Nayeon just laughs as she picks up the empty cups from the table, walking to Brian's small kitchen and setting them on the sink. She was looking for the dishwashing gloves when he appears next to her with a pile of dirty plates.</p><p>"Don't even think about it," he says, pushing her aside as he grabs the necessary tools to begin washing the dishes.</p><p>"It's the least I can do after you let us trash your living room," she tries.</p><p>He shakes his head, "You guys brought food and drinks. And I got to see you slap Youngjae in the face, so I'm well compensated."</p><p>"I didn't slap him!" she immediately says, "We just get a bit... uh... overexcited," she mumbles.</p><p>He laughs before nudging her with his elbow, "Go and check on Youngjae. It looks like he's taking his loss pretty hard."</p><p>She grabs a clean towel and begins drying the dishes he sets on the rack, "He's used to it. He's really bad at these kinds of games. He used to be worse when we were in high school."</p><p>"Oh yeah?"</p><p>"He wouldn't talk to us for three days after we played Apples to Apples," she explains, "He's really good at Catan though. Like annoyingly good," she huffs, placing the newly dried cups on the counter.</p><p>"This is really fun," he says after a few moments of comfortable silence, "Thanks for letting me join."</p><p>"We should be thanking you. We'd have nowhere to play if it weren't for you," she smiles, grateful.</p><p>When she walks home that night, she finds herself feeling lighter than she has in a while. Having spent the past few hours at Brian's house, she wonders that perhaps the red string in her pinky matters less than she had always thought.</p><p>She'd always thought she'd be transformed into something or someone entirely different the moment the string appeared. Like she’d be a better, more complete version of herself now that she has her soul mate. But she realizes that was Im Nayeon before and she's still Im Nayeon now.</p><p>And she is more than okay with that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>MAY</strong>
</p><p>The thing about Brian's girlfriend, Ayeon, is that she is absolutely wonderful. After a painfully awkward introduction was made (it was a few weeks after the concert), Nayeon tries her best to school her facial expression whenever she sees her on campus. Ayeon, like Brian, is incredibly kind and nice, always sending genuine smiles her way even though she knows that it could not have been easy to be nice to the girl who the universe deems to be the perfect match for your boyfriend. So Nayeon always makes extra effort to be nice without trying to force a friendship. Being good friends with Brian is enough and she doesn't need to be good friends with his girlfriend too - that was a line that she doesn't think she wants to ever cross. She never feels compelled to speak to or even think about Ayeon until today.</p><p>Finals are two weeks away and Nayeon has spent an exorbitant amount of time on campus, basically only going home to sleep before rushing off to the library or the coffee shop to study. This morning, she camps on one of the corner desks that's facing the window. She was revising for one of her classes when she notices Brian, Ayeon, and another guy (she can't remember his name even though he's been introduced to her a while ago) walking across the lawn. Everything seemed ordinary and she was about to return to her notes when she noticed the red string extending between Ayeon and the guy - the guy that's <em> not </em> Brian.</p><p>
  <em> Oh no. </em>
</p><p>She quickly packs her things and walks out of the coffee shop, her mind so preoccupied that she doesn't realize that she's thirty minutes early to her lunch date with Jaebum.</p><p>When Jaebum arrives at the tonkatsu restaurant, he finds her in a daze and has to literally snap his fingers to get her attention. "What's wrong with you?" he asks. Her eyes widen and she leans forward. "Oppa... I saw a red string between Brian's girlfriend and another guy," she whispers.</p><p>Jaebum looks surprised for a second before sipping on his drink, "Don't say anything."</p><p>She used to find this annoying - Jaebum's ability to know exactly what she's thinking or what she's about to say. But now, she's used to it and is rather grateful since it's a pretty efficient way to communicate.</p><p>"Wouldn't you want to know? If you were in Brian's shoes."</p><p>Jaebum immediately shakes his head, "I'd want to know but not from you."</p><p>
  <em> Ahh. </em>
</p><p>She nods and pushes it out of her mind.</p><p>***</p><p>What she didn't realize is how often she actually sees Ayeon, Brian, and that guy on a regular basis. After that day, it seems like she sees them <em> everywhere </em> and their string is so glaringly obvious that she has to look away. Every time she sees Brian, she wonders if he knows. She tries to find signs that he may have broken up with Ayeon. But it's been a month since she saw the string and he seems like his usual self. So she continues to try to push this out of her mind until she sees Brian walk into the <em> pojangmacha, </em> looking slightly disheveled and a lot dazed. Youngjae calls out to him and he gives them a barely noticeable nod of recognition before sitting down on the empty spot next to her.</p><p>Her first year as a university student is officially over and tomorrow, she'll be heading to Jeongseon to spend it with her grandparents. She's done this every year since her mom passed away five years ago and while Jaebum usually comes along (at least for a week or two), this summer he's off to work on some movie project in Atlanta. So she's going on her own and tonight is her last hurrah with her friends before she goes off to spend three months in the countryside.</p><p>"Will your grandma make you harvest all the corn since that Jaebum oppa isn't coming?" Jihyo asks.</p><p>The dread in Nayeon's face is palpable, "I hope not. I hope they hire someone to help." Her grandparents are retirees who spend their time tilling the land next to their house in the countryside, and even though they could afford to hire workers for the summer, they chose not to - opting to use Nayeon and Jaebum’s free labor during the summer.</p><p>"Should I come down and help?" Youngjae offers and Jihyo scoffs, "Her grandma will end up spending all her time massaging your sore back. Don't go!"</p><p>"Is this your way of saying you'll miss me if I go?" he asks.</p><p>"What are you saying? This kid— Yah I'm just saying..." Jihyo continues to rant while Nayeon looks at Brian who is staring off into the distance, his hand gripping the soju glass as if his life depended on it. </p><p>"Are you okay?" she asks quietly.</p><p>This seems to shake him out of his reverie and he turns to her for a split second before downing the shot of soju in one go. "Yup," he's schooled his face into a smile that isn't fooling anyone, much less Nayeon who is all too familiar with what he might be feeling. She wonders if she should just tell him that she knows. Would it embarrass him? Would it make him shut down and push her away? Instead, she wordlessly refills his glass.</p><p>"Corn or potatoes," she asks after he drains the glass again.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"From Jeongseon. Do you want corn or potatoes?" she asks, refilling his glass. "I'm sending everyone a care package this summer with stuff from my grandparents' farm," she keeps her tone light, setting the bottle on her other side - away from him.</p><p>"The potatoes are really good, hyung. For real," Youngjae pipes in.</p><p>"The corn is reaaaaally really sweet," Jihyo adds.</p><p>Brian seems taken aback for a moment before answering, "Can I have both?"</p><p>"No," all three of them answer in unison.</p><p>Brian laughs and internally, Nayeon breathes a sigh of relief. She doesn’t like seeing him so sad, even if the laugh doesn’t quite reach his eyes.</p><p>A couple of bottles later, the four of them trudge down the train station. Jihyo and Youngjae walk towards the other line, leaving Brian and Nayeon on the platform on their own. She and Brian take opposite trains and would have to part ways here too.</p><p>"How..." he says when she's just about to bid him goodbye, "How did you deal with it?"</p><p>She looks at him for a moment, puzzled, before understanding dawns on her.</p><p>"It's hard," she exhales and lets the words settle between them for a few moments before continuing, "But at the end of the day, we choose who we want to be with."</p><p>He says nothing in response and she lets the silence linger.</p><p>She holds up her pinky, "It's just a string, right?"</p><p>She tugs at their string and the smile that appears on his lips is bitter.</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>AUGUST</strong>
</p><p>"Your tan!" is Jihyo's first words to her when they reunited on campus after three whole months of not seeing each other face to face. Nayeon grins - despite her best efforts to wear long-sleeved work shirts and hats, she knows that she's a few shades darker than she was at the beginning of summer but she doesn't mind. She picked an all-white outfit today to purposely showcase the fruits of her labor.</p><p>"Your hair!" she says in response, reaching to touch Jihyo's new hairdo. Instead of the length that extends to her lower back, it's now a few inches below her ears, which makes her best friend look more mature. "You look so sophisticated. Like a businesswoman," Nayeon remarks, unable to stop herself from touching her hair in awe.</p><p>The two quickly sit down at an empty table and trade summer stories. Jihyo was telling her about the place she had interned at this summer when she spots Brian walk into the coffee shop.</p><p>"When did you get back?" he asks after exchanging greetings with the two.</p><p>"Last week," she answers.</p><p>"I heard you were in Hana <em> sunbae </em>'s department this summer," Brian turns to Jihyo. Being from the same department, he had interned at the same place a few summers ago. "Youngjae told me," he explains.</p><p>"Has she always been that mean?" Jihyo whines and Brian nods, "Yup. She's even meaner to the guys."</p><p>The two continue to exchange internship horror stories while Nayeon watches, sipping her Iced Americano quietly. They had texted a few times over the summer, mostly her asking if the care package she sent had arrived. She wanted to ask if he was okay but decided against it since he never actually told her about Ayeon's red string. So she stuck to easy, neutral topics, and pictures of her grandparents' new dog.</p><p>"Can I invite some people?" he asks later when they were walking out of the coffee shop. They had been discussing their board game night, which is set to take place later that week at Youngjae's house. "Jae saw your Instagram Story from the last time we had it and he asked if he and Hyerim could join," he explains. She turns to Jihyo who answers, "Sure."</p><p>That Saturday, she finds herself lying on the couch, face half-buried under her own hair. The game of Exploding Kittens they played earlier had taken a lot out of her and now her voice hoarse from all the yelling.</p><p>"Water," Brian hands her a glass of warm water as she sits on the floor, his back against the sofa. She thanks the back of his head. The TV is now on and the boys (aka Jae and Youngjae) are gearing up to play a round of video games while Jihyo and Hyerim are downstairs, picking up more beer and snacks.</p><p>It shouldn’t come as a surprise that their group very quickly and easily gelled together, but she’s still pleasantly surprised anyway - and relieved. Even though everyone assumes that Nayeon is a social butterfly because of how friendly she is, her inner circle has always been rather small. For as long as she could remember, it was just her brother, Jinyoung, Jihyo, and Youngjae. But she’s enjoying the recent additions of Brian and now Jae and Hyerim who, despite being older and already working, are fun and just as boisterous. Up until recently, it was always just the four constants in her life but seeing how well tonight is going, she wonders if she should let more people in her life.</p><p>"Yo soulmates. Can one of you pass a pillow?" Jae asks.</p><p>She chokes on her water.</p><p>This was one of the things they talked about tonight. She had asked Jae and Hyerim about their string – how they’ve been together for and how it appeared. They were shocked to learn that Nayeon is able to see their string and a look of realization crossed Brian’s face which made her feel guilty. The conversation then turned to how there’s a string between Nayeon and Brian as well, which made the air uncomfortable for a few moments before they were saved by a literal bell when the chicken arrived.</p><p>"Get it yourself," Brian says as he throws a pillow on Jae's head.</p><p>"Sorry," Brian grimaces, handing her the tissue box.</p><p>She grins, "It's fine."</p><p>He pauses for a moment, clearly still unsettled but nods and turns back to the TV.</p><p>Minutes passed and she can see the tension on his shoulders, so she reaches to tap his shoulder. "It's okay. Honestly," she says when he turns. He looks unconvinced but she sees him relax after a few more persistent smiles on her part. She lies her head and back down, and allows herself to be lulled to sleep to the sound of Jae, Youngjae, and their video games.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>NOVEMBER</strong>
</p><p>She is in the middle of an argument with Jae about why pineapples do not belong in pizza when he walks to their table. "Hello..." he greets, his voice deep. Nayeon scrambles to stand up. "Oh!" she uses the napkin to wipe her lips. "Kyungsoo <em> sunbae </em>," she greets the bespectacled guy with a small bow.</p><p>A few years her senior, Do Kyungsoo has a reputation for being one of <em> those </em>seniors – top-of-the-class smart, favorites of the professors, and mysterious. She, like everyone else in her department, has happily admired him from afar, marveling at the stories they hear about how he won this competition and represented the school in that conference. In other words, he’s the elusive favorite of everyone in Teacher’s College so she certainly didn’t expect him to turn up at the dingy pizza joint on a Tuesday night.</p><p>"I don't mean to interrupt," he looks towards the table behind her before rapidly returning to her, "I just want to ask about tomorrow night.” </p><p>She turns back to her friends who are very blatantly staring at them, her warning glare ignored. "Yes! At the library, right? 7:00 PM?" she says to Kyungsoo, suppressing an urge to throw the dirty napkin at Jae. She doesn’t need to turn around to be able to see that he’s smirking – she can feel it.</p><p>He nods, "Again I'm so sorry for the time. I wish—"</p><p>"Don't worry about it, <em> sunbaenim </em>. I'm free anyway," she interrupts, finding his nervousness quite endearing.</p><p>He can see he was about to apologize some more so she reaches out and pats his shoulder, "Truly, it's fine."</p><p>That seems to stop him from bouncing nervously and he finally lets out a small smile. He gestures for the door where his friends are waiting and she nods. They bid each other goodbye and when Nayeon turns to the rest of her table, she finds everyone's eyes on her.</p><p>"What?" she tries to sound as nonchalant as possible as she returns to her seat.</p><p>"Who was that?" Jihyo has her 'I-know-the-answer-but-you-need-tell-me-honestly' voice.</p><p>"He and I are in charge of the camping trip for the new students in our department," she explains, reaching for the basket of breadsticks at the center of the table, which Jihyo promptly pushes away from her.</p><p>She frowns, "What?" she attempts for the basket again, smiling when she manages to grab one, returning to lean on her chair.</p><p>"Tomorrow?" Jihyo's tone remains the same.</p><p>"We're having a meeting with the rest of the committee. Usually, we do it at lunch but he has a family thing, so we're doing it tomorrow night," she explains. That seems to be enough for everyone else at the table except for Jihyo who is still maintaining the same look before Youngjae calls her attention to something on his phone.</p><p>For the next few weeks, Jihyo would not stop pestering Nayeon about Kyungsoo who, admittedly, is making more frequent appearances in her life. Because of the camping trip, they have had to spend more time together and Jihyo takes every possible opportunity to bring him up.</p><p>"He likes you," she says<em> . </em></p><p>Nayeon scoffs, "Kyungsoo sunbaenim doesn't like me like that."</p><p>Her best friend shakes her head with the kind of confidence and authority that only Park Jihyo could possess, "Trust me. He does."</p><p>Nayeon ignores it, opting to ask her about the new movie that she and Youngjae watched last night, glad to not be talking about her senior anymore who she is 110% certain does not like him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>DECEMBER</strong>
</p><p>"He likes me," she says before Jihyo has a chance to say hello.</p><p>She's sitting at a bench, away from everyone else. She looks back to make sure no one is around before continuing, "He told me he likes me before dinner - when we were waiting for the new students to come back from their hike."</p><p>Even though she can't see it, she's sure that Jihyo is sporting a self-satisfied smirk. Under different circumstances, Nayeon would roll her eyes and be annoyed but at the moment, she's too preoccupied with more pressing matters than her best friend being right once again.</p><p>The pressing matter being <em> someone had just confessed to her. </em></p><p>No one's ever confessed to her before. She's had guys flirt with her and Nayeon being Nayeon, she's generally friendly with everyone, which could be misconstrued as flirting back. But before things get too far, she always made it clear that she has no interest in being in a relationship with anyone who isn't her soulmate. So when Kyungsoo said he likes her, she panicked and laughed.</p><p>"What kind of laugh?"</p><p>Nayeon sighs into her palm, "A really awful laugh. I probably snorted."</p><p>"Hmm..."</p><p>She is truly not equipped for this. "What do I do, Jihyo-ya? Can you come here and just kidnap me? I don't know how I'm gonna go back in there," she groans into her puffy coat, shivering from her predicament and the winter weather.</p><p>"How do you feel about him? Do you like him?"</p><p>She has enjoyed working with Kyungsoo for the past month, but she feels the same way towards everyone else on the committee. It truly takes a lot for her to <em> not </em> like someone. She tries to think about him, mentally squinting at her memories, trying to fish out information about Do Kyungsoo.</p><p>He doesn't speak much but once he's comfortable, he can get kind of ramble-y, which she supposes is quite adorable. He's really gentle with her fellow committee members - she doesn't think she's heard him raise his voice once, even when one of her friends forgot to bring the box of equipment they needed for the ice breaker games earlier. She can't recall seeing him laugh often but she knows that when he smiles, his eyes disappear and his nose scrunches - she saw him do this a few times when he was talking to his friends.</p><p>But does she <em> like </em> him?</p><p><em> What does it even mean to like someone that way? </em> she asks herself. She's only had crushes on celebrities, never on real people with whom she could have a real relationship. So this question, this whole predicament, is entirely foreign to her.</p><p>"I don't know," she finally answers.</p><p>"Is he asking for an answer?" Jihyo asks.</p><p>"No. Not yet anyway. He says he'll give me as much time as I need."</p><p>They're silent for a few moments, both occupied with their own thoughts. The closest thing Nayeon has had to a romantic relationship is perhaps with her red string – or rather, the idea of it. But that had failed spectacularly. Instead of giving her a soulmate, the string had given her a friend, a <em> great </em>friend whom she cherishes, and is very happy to have in her life. But that leaves her still wholly inexperienced when it comes to these things.</p><p>Before Jihyo ended the phone call, she says, "He seems like a great guy."</p><p>In the past, she’d end any potential romantic relationship before it could begin with her soulmate in mind. But now that she has her red string and is still very much single, she wonders if perhaps she shouldn’t dismiss this one so easily.</p><p>***</p><p>The night before Christmas, she invites Kyungsoo to have dinner with her friends.</p><p>After a few sleepless nights, she sat down with Kyungsoo and told him about she feels - that she's unsure, that she's inexperienced, but that she'd like to give this a try. She told him that she's not saying they should be officially dating, but she'd like to get to know him better. As friends. At least for now. She had been nervous about it all. She had agonized over every word, alone and with Jihyo. Ultimately, she was nervous about hurting his feelings, and even though she knew that was inevitable (given that she wasn't saying 'yes' or reciprocating his confession), she hoped her honesty would make up for it.</p><p>So for the past few weeks, they've spent more and more time together. He brought her coffee and took her to lunches and dinners, walking her to her class. They've studied at the library together a few times too. He’s a great companion, a great person to spend time with - quiet for the most part but would smile whenever she got herself into a tizzy over the reading or the assignment.</p><p><em> The smile </em> - that's another thing that has become an obsession for her as of late. She was obsessed with getting a smile out of him. The more his eyes disappear, the more points she gave to herself. </p><p>When she told Jihyo about wanting to invite him to their Christmas get-together, a certain look crossed Jihyo's face that made Nayeon pause.</p><p>"What?" she immediately asked.</p><p>"How do you feel about Brian?"</p><p>Much like her relationship with everyone else in the board game group, her and Brian's relationship has shifted into a comfortable, easy friendship. They see each other regularly, working in the same building and all. They say hi, joke around, tease each other, exchange texts, have meals together every once in a while, and she's enjoying all of it.</p><p>"He's a great friend," she answered but she didn't need to turn to know that Jihyo still had that look.</p><p>"That's all?"</p><p>Nayeon shrugged, "I mean. What else could it be? He really is a good friend and a good person in general. He's fun, nice, and so annoyingly good at everything while being bad at it the same time," she chuckled to herself.</p><p>Over the course of their friendship, she realized that he is a walking juxtaposition. On one hand, he's this studious, high-achieving student who is active in all the important clubs on campus. He's a radio DJ and seems to be friends with everyone. But on the other hand, he makes a giant mess when he eats and has a habit of forgetting things. Once, he left his phone at the info desk and didn't realize it until she brought it to him the next day.</p><p>"Anyway," she shook her head, "Brian is a friend. A really good friend. Like Youngjae."</p><p>"Don't let Youngjae hear that," Jihyo warned, “He’ll be jealous.”</p><p>So now, sandwiched between an empty seat she has reserved for Kyungsoo and Jihyo who is currently distributing the eating utensils to everyone, she looks at the front door of the busy restaurant - nervous. It’s not that she’s been keeping him from her friends. It’s just that she doesn’t want her friends to cloud this process for her – this process of getting to know someone new, someone who <em> likes </em> her. She knows that tonight’s dinner is some sort of test that will determine whether or not she can move forward with any possible feelings she may have towards him. And she realizes as she stares repeatedly at the door that she desperately wants him to pass.</p><p>When he arrives a few minutes, she immediately stands up and walks over to greet him, guiding him towards their table. "Everyone, this is Kyungsoo <em> sunbae. </em> Kyungsoo <em> sunbae, </em> this is everyone," she says by way of introduction. They all exchange polite hellos and waves before sitting down.</p><p>The dinner goes by as smoothly as it possibly could, given Kyungsoo's shy tendencies and her friends' rambunctious antics. He seems overwhelmed for most of the night, so she tries her best to keep talking to him, looping in Hyerim who sits on the other side of him (this was a strategic move by her, knowing that Hyerim would be the nicest and least intimidating). By the end of the meal, he seems to have relaxed. When she steps outside, she finds him talking to a very animated Youngjae - a good sign because it means that Youngjae is comfortable with him.</p><p>"Thank you for inviting me," he says when he stands next to her and the smile on his lips is genuine.</p><p>Nayeon reciprocates in kind, "I'm glad you came."</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>They let the silence sit between them for a few moments before he clears his throat, "I actually... got you something."</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>A red flush appears on his cheeks as his hand digs into the pocket of his jacket. He pulls out a small pink box and hands it to her, unable to look at her in the eyes.</p><p>She gasps.</p><p>"Merry Christmas," he says.</p><p>She opens the box and finds a pair of earrings in rose gold. "Oh my god. This is so pretty," she exclaims, observing the collection of stars clustered together.</p><p>"I didn't get you anything!" she gasps in horror.</p><p>He laughs and shakes his head, "It's okay. I saw this and thought you'd like it."</p><p>Her smile is bright and unabashed - she can feel her cheeks hurting from it - as she nods, "I do. It's beautiful."</p><p>He seems pleased. She does the same but is unable to stop herself from smiling.</p><p>Before goes to bed that night, she stares at the earrings, cheeks tired from smiling, and wonders if this is what it feels like to fall in love.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>FEBRUARY</strong>
</p><p>She walks into Youngjae's house to Jae and Brian yelling at the TV with controllers in each hand. As she toes off her shoes, she chuckles and exchanges a look with Jihyo who is munching on a bowl of popcorn on the sofa. "Come in," she says to Kyungsoo, her boyfriend, who looks slightly overwhelmed by what he is witnessing.</p><p>She wonders if one month into officially being a couple is too soon for her to bring him here. This isn't the first time that Kyungsoo has spent time with her friends - they've had a few meals together. But she's always been a bit concerned that they'll scare him off somehow. She knows how crazy they could be on a normal basis and them on board game night is truly them at a 100. But she figures that if he could survive this, then he could survive anything - at least as far as her friends are concerned.</p><p>"Is... is Youngjae okay?" he whispers as they stand in the kitchen, sipping the beer they just grabbed from the fridge. He looks concerned, his eyes narrowed at the mass of black sweater on the dining table.</p><p>She nods, "He was up for 48 hours to finish a model for an exhibition." Being friends with Youngjae means being used to seeing him periodically passed out from what she calls architecture school-induced comma. So she's not too concern about the current state of her friend.</p><p>"What are we playing today?" she asks Jihyo once she's seated on the floor. Kyungsoo still looks nervous, so she places her hand on his arm, hoping it would lend him some comfort. From the corner of her eyes, she sees him exhale.</p><p>One of the things she finds most fascinating about being in a relationship is seeing the effect that she has on him. How he’d smile when she complains about the cafeteria’s new lunch menu. How his brows would furrow in concentration when she tells him about a problem she’s having in class like he’s trying to solve this problem for her. Or how he’d give her this look of longing when she says goodbye at the end of the day. She would feel guilty about this power that she suddenly has over him and his emotions but she doesn’t because he has the same power over her. Like how her smile is automatic when she sees his car pull up in front of her house. How she laughs unprompted when he gets into his rare fits about the latest Star Wars movie and how <em> they have it so wrong. </em> And how she feels a wave of comfort when he slips his hand into hers. She understands why there are fewer songs about being in love because it feels like being buried under piles and piles of sunflowers – overwhelming in the best way possible and she’d rather enjoy it than futilely find ways to describe it.</p><p>"Boggle," Jihyo sets a blue box in front of her.</p><p>"Yessssss!" Brian exclaims as he sits on the floor space beside her.</p><p>She rolls her eyes, "No fun. It's either gonna be you or Jihyo."</p><p>He nods smugly, which makes her sigh dramatically.</p><p>She leans over to Kyungsoo and explains, "Those two are obnoxiously good at this game. Jae <em> thinks </em> he's good at this and keeps trying to cheat by using made-up words—"</p><p>"They're SAT words!"</p><p>She ignores him and continues, "Youngjae and I are usually evenly matched, but since he's dead to the world, he'll lose."</p><p>"I won't," Youngjae, who has somehow made his way to the floor with them, mumbles.</p><p>Kyungsoo nods, processing the information she just laid out.</p><p>"You'll be really good at this," she assures him with a squeeze on his arm and a bright smile, and within two hours, she's proven correct.</p><p>"I don't believe it," Jae mumbles, splayed on the floor with an arm over his forehead. It had been a pretty contentious game of Boggle. Nayeon, who is well aware that she's not the greatest at this game, happily watched Kyungsoo decimate everyone. So much so that Jae is groaning in annoyance.</p><p>She laughs and stands up, gathering the empty beer bottles and bringing it over to the kitchen where Brian is eating the <em> tteokbeokki </em> they had ordered earlier. She sets the bottles on the box by the door and stands next to him, grabbing a piece of <em> tteokbeokki </em> for herself. "You underperformed today," she says, nudging his arm playfully. She noticed that he's quieter than usual and he really did churn out fewer words than he normally would.</p><p>He groans, "Sorry to disappoint."</p><p>"I'll forgive you if you grab me another beer."</p><p>He salutes mockingly as he walks to the fridge that's two steps behind them. When he returns, the bottle is already open, and she thanks him. "Rumor has it someone famous is coming to the radio tomorrow," she turns to him fully, her side leaning against the counter.</p><p>"Hmmm," he says with his mouth full.</p><p>"Rumor also has it that's Zion T," she continues.</p><p>"Hmmm," is all he says as he walks past her to return to the living room.</p><p>"So it's true?" she follows him, "Zion T is really coming?"</p><p>She returns to her spot on the floor, next to Kyungsoo, who is talking to Hyerim. She turns her head to look at Brian who is plopped down on the sofa behind her.</p><p>"Hmmm," he smirks knowingly.</p><p>She narrows her eyes and was about to pester him some more when Jae calls out from the floor.</p><p>"Yo soulmates. Will one of you pass me my phone?"</p><p>She sees Brian flinch, but before Nayeon could react, Jae is groaning into the pillow that has been unceremoniously thrown to his head. "Get it yourself," she hears Brian say.</p><p>"It means nothing," she immediately turns to Kyungsoo, panicked, head and hands shaking furiously. She hadn't told him about her red string and this is definitely not the best way to find out.</p><p>She squeezes his arm, hoping it could communicate everything her words are failing to do. While he doesn't say anything and offers a small nod, she could feel his discomfort for the rest of the night. They spend the entire journey home in uncomfortable and agonizing silence, and when he stops his car in front of her house, she finally blurts out, "I'm sorry."</p><p>When he says nothing, she continues, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. It’s..." she searches, her hands fidgeting nervously. When she finds the words, she exhales, hoping it would stop the tears from brimming in her eyes. "It’s embarrassing..." her voice is quiet, "I've wanted the string ever since I could remember and when I got it last year, it's... wrong. It feels like I've failed the universe somehow."</p><p>"But I promise you, it really is nothing. Brian and I are just friends," she pleads.</p><p>It takes him a moment to respond and when he does, he holds her hand firmly in his and solemnly nods, "Okay." She hugs him a little tighter before they say goodbye, mostly to alleviate the guilt that's growing in her chest.</p><p>When she walks into her house, she finds Jaebum in front of the microwave and she tells him what happened.</p><p>"I feel like I'm cheating on both of them somehow," she concludes, head in her hand.</p><p>Jaebum drinks the rest of the <em> ramyeon </em> soup in his bowl and responds, "But you're not." He pats her head before he leaves the kitchen, leaving Nayeon to her thoughts.</p><p>The next day, at lunch with Jae, Hyerim, and Brian, she asks Jae to not call them soulmates anymore. Jae frowns for a moment before agreeing and she breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. I just don't want to hurt Kyungsoo's feelings," she says and Jae nods, "I get it. Don't worry," he says in his usual easy way.</p><p>As she turns her attention back to her lunch, the red string catches her attention for a moment - it's not moving, which means that the other end is also still. She follows the string to the other end and finds Brian looking down on the table.</p><p>She tugs at her string to catch his attention. When his eyes find hers, she sends him an 'are-you-okay' look. He nods and offers her a small smile, and she smiles in return.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>JUNE</strong>
</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Her vision is blurring and she closes her eyes.</p><p>She heard him the first time but 'what' seems to be the only thing she could say at the moment.</p><p>His face shifts into what she recognizes as guilt, "I'm due to report next week."</p><p>
  <em> "What?" </em>
</p><p>He says nothing. With each passing silent second, she feels a familiar pain taking over her chest.</p><p>Her boyfriend received his draft notice and he is enlisting next week. <em> Next week. </em></p><p>The past six months have been filled with a lot of firsts - first date, first kiss, first picnic at the park, first walk through the cherry blossoms with someone in her arms - and she could not be happier that she shared many of her firsts with him. Kyungsoo was the perfect gentleman when they were still <em> sunbae-hoobae </em> and he's even more perfect when she became his girlfriend. She often wondered how she got so lucky. Even Jaebum, her finicky older brother who typically makes very little effort to conceal his opinion of others, likes him.</p><p>When he picked her up this morning, she could see that something was bothering him. He was quieter than usual but she was more than happy to fill up the silence with her musings and stories. He asked if they could go to the coffee shop instead of going straight to his class, which is what they typically do on a Friday. She figured he was just tired and needed caffeine. So when he told her about the enlistment, it caught her off guard. Never in a million years would she have expected him to say that. And now, she's seated across from him in this crowded coffee shop, trying her damnest not to cry.</p><p>"I'll wait for you," she finally says, trying to muster as much determination in her voice as possible. She can do it. Other people have waited for their boyfriends while they're in the military. Nayeon can do it too. Besides, it's kind of romantic, right?</p><p>"No," he says and she flinches from the coldness of his voice.</p><p>"You don't want me to wait for you?"</p><p>He shakes his head, "I'm not going to do that to you."</p><p>She bites her lips, "So what happens to us now?" She hears the shakiness of her voice and hates it.</p><p>"I'm sorry," is all he said before he stands up. He stops next to her and says, "I really like you. But we've always been borrowed time."</p><p>***</p><p>After breaking down at the coffee shop for a full fifteen minutes, heaving sobs and head buried in her palms, she finally calms down enough to make her way home where she could cry in the comfort of her own room. She's just crossing the campus lawn towards the taxi stand when she hears her name.</p><p>"Nayeon-ah!"</p><p>She turns and sees Brian's face morph quickly from a smile to grave concern. Immediately, he's in front of her. "Are you okay? What happened?" he asks. When she doesn't answer, he crouches down to be level with her.</p><p>"Kyungsoo..." her voice is hoarse, "The military..."</p><p>She's on the verge of another breakdown and he wraps his arms around her shoulder, guiding them towards a nearby bench. He doesn't let go of his arms and runs it up and down her arms, letting her cry into his shoulder.</p><p>When Jihyo arrives thirty minutes later, Brian's shirt is thoroughly soaked and Nayeon's eyes are so puffy that she struggles to keep it open. But she melts into the embrace of her best friend anyway, leaving Brian to explain what happened while Jihyo gently pats her head.</p><p>"Jihyo-ya... what do I do?" she asks, her eyes closed.</p><p>This time, Jihyo doesn't have an answer because she knows that this time, Nayeon's heart is truly broken.</p><p>***</p><p>“Are you gonna go to class today?” she hears her brother ask. It’s been three days since Kyungsoo told her about his enlistment, breaking up with her at the same time. It feels like the world was pulled out from beneath her feet and she’s left sprawling on the ground, shivering and broken. So she did what anyone would under the circumstances: she mopes. But it has been three days – she skipped class and work yesterday and she has a feeling that her brother will be upset if she stays at home today. So she trudges towards the door and finds her brother who grimaces.</p><p>“Save it,” she says, walking past him to the kitchen.</p><p>Ignoring her, he asks, “Have you not showered all weekend?”</p><p>She doesn’t answer, digging into the bowl of rice he just placed in front of her.</p><p>“Oppa… what is the point of relationships? Dating?” she asks instead, “It all ends eventually. So what’s the point?” She doesn’t try to keep the bitterness from her voice.</p><p>“You know why. Because we love love,” he answers, “That’s what you told me.”</p><p>She scoffs, “What did I know about love? Why did you listen to me? I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was twenty and even that only lasted six months.”</p><p>Her brother just sends her a very tender look as he pats her hair, “It’ll be okay.”</p><p>And just like that, she burst into tears again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Apologies to those who are reading this fic for Kyungsoo. I find this crackship intriguing and that's why I included him in this story - perhaps in the future I'll give them a proper story that they deserve.</p><p>One more part to go and it'll be a rather short one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A short conclusion to this story. Thank you to everyone who has made it this far. I appreciate each and every one of you :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>SEPTEMBER</strong>
</p><p>Nayeon finally understands what they mean when they say that time is relative. This summer has felt like the longest three months of her life, each day moving at a glacial pace. This was largely in part because of her break up with her Kyungsoo, but also because her support system was largely absent. Jihyo and Youngjae were really busy with their internship, Jae and Hyerim were on vacation to the US, her brother was overseas for a project, while Jinyoung and Suji were busy with work. That left her with Brian.</p><p>Thankfully, he had been there for her all summer long as she decided to stay in Seoul to nurse her heartbreak. He dragged out to see movies and to sit at the park. He made it his mission to try every single <em> tteokbeokki </em>place in Seoul and he dragged her along, making it clear that she had no choice in the matter. As much as she grumbled, she knew why he was doing this and she was thankful. And on days when she just wanted to do absolutely nothing, he’d sit with her and they watch Netflix until one of them falls asleep. When she looks at the string between their fingers, she feels a sense of warmth – of gratefulness – knowing that without it, she would not have him in her life.</p><p>But as much as she is thankful for him, it does not replace the presence of her other friends. When she looks just a little too ecstatic about how happy she is to finally have the board game group back together again, he yells in protests, “Yah. What do you mean it’s been horrible?”</p><p>“No offense, Brian. You’re great and all, but you are not Park Jihyo,” she says as she loops her arm around Jihyo’s.</p><p>When she sits down next to him, she hands him a bottle of cold beer and he huffs, “I thought I’m not Jihyo.”</p><p>“Obviously,” she rolls her eyes, “You’re Kang Brian,” she grins and when she sees him return the smile, she knows that they’re fine.</p><p>Predictably, their first board game night after months of absence is a mess. They chose Cards Against Humanity that Jae had brought back from the US and by the end of the night, everyone was spent – happy, but tired from all the yelling and laughing. It was a great kind of spent.</p><p>“Scoot,” Brian says and she moves a fraction of an inch as he squeezes on the small couch. He has a bowl of potato chips on his lap and he expertly moved it away from her anytime she attempted for some. Eventually, she gives up and lies her had on the back of the couch instead, taking everything in – the sound of Jae and Youngjae’s video game, Hyerim sleeping on the other couch, and Jihyo cooking something in the kitchen.</p><p>“Thank you,” she says and Brian turns, confused, mouth full of chips. “I honestly don’t know how I would’ve survived without you,” she continues. He smiles and nudges her arm that’s pressed against his. She lets her eyes close, relaxing to the sound of the video game.</p><p>***</p><p>She had just finished giving directions to an elderly couple who is visiting their grandson when she spots Brian jogging towards her. She watches the couple disappear from view before she turns to him, finding him leaning against her desk.</p><p>“Did you eat?” he asks.</p><p>She shakes her head, “My shift doesn’t end for a few more hours.”</p><p>“When has that ever stopped you?”</p><p>She grins, “I’m following the rules today.”</p><p>“Wow. Last day blues, huh?”</p><p>She shrugs.</p><p>Being a third-year student means more difficult classes that force her to leave her job at the Student Union Building. When she told her friends about this, both Youngjae and Brian lamented that they won’t see her on their way to and from work anymore. She hadn’t really realized how much running into them at work had become an integral part of her routine. She doesn’t love the job but doesn’t hate it either and perhaps some of that is due to the fact that she got to see them while she’s at it.</p><p>“Are you headed to the station?” she asks. Without meaning to, she has his schedule somewhat memorized and she knows that he typically doesn’t have work on a Wednesday afternoon like this. “No. I wanted to see what you’d chose as your last supper,” he explains. “I’ll do some work over there—” he points towards one of the sofas on the far end of the hallway, “…just come get me when you’re done with work. I’m starving!” Before she could protest and suggest that maybe perhaps he should just go get food now instead of waiting for another two hours, he walks away.</p><p>Later, she finds him hunched over his laptop, brows furrowed in deep concentration. His foot is tapping rhythmically to something he’s listening to as his fingers type furiously on the keyboard. He’s a relatively distracting study buddy, just because he’s always tapping along with whatever it is he’s listening to. The first time they studied together at the library, they nearly got kicked out because he was making too much noise. The silence of the library was unnerving, he admitted later on, and that’s why he preferred studying at a coffee shop or somewhere more public. Nayeon, who doesn’t have a preference, just follows along.</p><p>“Hey,” she greets and the smile on his face blooms at the sight of her. He holds up on hand, a sign that he wants to finish whatever it is he’s doing for a few moments. She nods and takes a seat next to him.</p><p>She can’t remember a time when this wasn’t a fixture in her life - where she’d just sit and wait for Brian to finish doing whatever it is he’s doing. At first, she found this awkward and uncomfortable but she’s found comfort in these little suspended moments, knowing that he’ll greet her with his signature smile that employs every muscle on his face at the end of it. It’s a pocket in her day where she could breathe without pretense, armed by the knowledge that there’s no expectation for her to be anything but her unguarded self. She doesn’t need to be bright, cheerful, or overfly friendly – as much as those things come naturally to her and are very much who she is, she’s grateful for moments when she could just be… <em> her. </em></p><p>Two years ago, she didn’t even know who he is and now, as her eyes catch the red string moving along with the rapid movements of his typing, she finds a sense of warmth spread through her. What would her world be like without this?</p><p>
  <em> Without him? </em>
</p><p>She ponders this question for the rest of the day as she goes from the convenience store (where she watched Brian inhaled two cup <em> ramyeons </em> and one triangle kimbap at an impressive speed, knowing full well that they were headed to dinner) to the small alleyway towards the <em> gopchang </em>restaurant where the rest of their friends are waiting for them. When they arrive at the restaurant, he opens the door and she walks ahead while he trails behind. As they arrive at their table, the movement of her handing him her bag while she shrugs off her light jacket so that she can place it in the compartment under her seat is automatic and when he hands her his backpack to do the same, she holds it on her lap, handing it back to him after he sits down next to her.</p><p>She doesn’t realize how natural their movements have become until Jihyo points it out to her the next day over coffee. “So tell me honestly. Are you guys seeing each other?”</p><p>Nayeon, still stunned by Jihyo’s statement earlier, shakes her head, “No. He’s a friend. A really good friend. Like Youngjae.”</p><p>Jihyo rolls her eyes and says, “Youngjae doesn’t wait for you after class and you don’t stay on campus until 7 pm for him.”</p><p>But Jihyo’s observation that they act like a couple who’s been dating for three years makes more conscious of her interaction with him. She notes how he walks with her to her class and how often she’d meet with him afterward. When he appears in her view, she notices how glad she is because she knows that when he looks up, he’ll greet her with a smile. She realizes in earnest why she’s often at the Student Union Building even though she no longer works there – because he’s there and they almost always have some sort of plan, either to eat or to just walk to the station together.</p><p>Kang Brian is everywhere and she does not mind it one bit.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>OCTOBER</strong>
</p><p>They’re at their usual coffee shop, at their usual corner space, with their usual spread of laptops and books. But something is amiss.</p><p>“Hey,” she tries to get his attention. Brian isn’t tapping his legs or bobbing his head to the music. He’s looking out the window, his expression unreadable. She’s noticed this happen a few times this week and usually, it takes a few tries for her to get his attention. He’d typically shake his head and went back to normal without offering any explanations. But Nayeon wonders if she should insist on one this time. Something is clearly bothering him and she wants to know. “Brian,” she tries again, louder this time and he turns. “Are you okay?” she asks.</p><p>He says nothing and she sighs, getting annoyed but needs to finish this reading for her class. She’s making a mental plan to force him to talk to her later during their walk home when he speaks.</p><p>“Is it too late?” he tugs at their string.</p><p>She ponders for a moment before she smiles, “No.”</p>
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